The one-to-one relationship with your student maybe one-to-one in the room when you are working with them but the relationship you have with that child is always in the context of other relationships in the wider world. This relationship context can be helpful if tuition is feeling more difficult as it means you have greater support. However, for some tutors, this relationship context might be more challenging at times as they may wish to have full control of the relationship with their student and feel like they want to shut everyone else out.

However, as much as some tutors wish to create an isolated pair, it is never really possible. The school age students will have parents or guardians and someone paying for their tuition. Older independent students will most probably have family, friends, and other influences in their lives.

In almost all cases, you will form a relationship with your student in context of other relationships, just as you will have other relationships in your life. These relational contexts must always be given consideration, especially when working with younger students who are not responsible for paying for the tutoring you are giving.

Clients

The term client is used for anyone who is paying for the tuition. We will look at the various types of clients and how they impact on your relationship with the student.

Parents

When parents take their child to a tutor, they are effectively buying a service. This is not the same as sending their child to a school, even if it is a fee-paying school. When clients are buying tuition, they have authority and autonomy as to what they want to receive for their money. A good analogy to help understand this is a parent taking their child to a hairdresser.

If a child is in a state school:

It’s as if the parent is taking their child to a hairdresser and dropping them at the front door. They can talk to their hairdresser and say how they or their child would like their hair cut, but the reality is the parent has no control over what haircut their child is given on that day. The child will be having the same haircut as the rest of the other 20-30 children in the class, obviously there will be various differences in the cut, but it will be same style. The parent may have to work with the school to meet the child’s individual differences and if the child has any additional needs the parent may need to tell the hairdresser how to cut the child’s hair, but a bespoke hair cut in a class of 30 is difficult. Even if the child needs to be taken from the classroom and given a different haircut to the rest of their class, it will be a government approved haircut.

If a child is at a fee-paying school:

The parent will have more contact with the hairdresser and there will be smaller numbers of children having their hair cut at once, so the hairdresser can give more attention to each haircut. However, the hairdresser is still guiding a group of children and will be cutting that group of children’s hair the same way.

It’s important to note we are not saying the child will get a better hair cut in a fee paying or non-paying school. We are however saying the group sizes will be smaller. There will be pros and cons to that.

Taking their child to a private hairdresser: a tutor

If a parent takes their child to a private hairdresser, it is a whole different story. The parent is buying a service and has the option to have full authority over it and tell the hairdresser how they want their child’s hair cut. If they request a certain style or a certain haircut, it is critical the hairdresser takes the time to listen and understand what the parent is asking for. If the hairdresser doesn’t make sure they know what the parent wants, the wrong haircut will be given, and the parent will likely complain and want their money back. Many parents will never take their child to that hairdresser again.

Some parents will want the hairdresser’s advice on what hair cut is best and some parents will want to the hairdresser to do what they think will look good. However, unless the parent has explicitly said that, the hairdresser cannot cut the hair the way they think best. No hairdresser is going to ignore what haircut the parent has asked for and just cut the child’s hair the way they think is best if they want to see that child again.

This is the same for a tutor working in the private sector. They are either employed by their organisation or they are employed by the parent. The parent has bought the service with expectations of what they will receive. They will tell the tutor what they want their child to work on (e.g. spelling, maths or exam techniques) or they will explicitly seek the tutor’s experience for help. You must always ensure as a tutor that you value your relationship with the parent as well as the child by ensuring you understand what the parent / client is asking for.

It is so easy to move past what the parent is asking for because you can see a gap in the child’s knowledge. For example, a parent asks for help with spelling, and you start this, but you can then see the child needs help with literacy and writing as a whole. You can’t just move past spelling into tutoring literacy without a conversation with the parent or your line manager.

Just imagine a parent asks for an inch to be cut off their child’s head, the hairdresser notices that the ends are split, the hair is damaged. The hairdresser realises 4 inches needs to be cut off to make the hair healthy again.

Just imagine, without consultation, the hairdresser does what they feel is right for the child and chops a larger chunk of hair off than what the parent asked for. When the parent comes to look at the finished result, the child’s long hair is now a short bob. Without the conversation beforehand, the parent will most likely be furious.

You must always acknowledge that you are having multiple relationships with other people who are in your student’s life, and you must ensure you keep them in mind and respect them. When the parent is the client, you must ensure you build a relationship with parents and guardians that is based on respect. They are buying a service and have expectations for what they are spending their money on.

Schools

Schools are similar to parents and guardians in some ways as they are the ones purchasing the service.  Schools will have their own expectations of what they want you as the tutor to achieve. However, schools will also have their own way of working that requires you as the tutor to fit into their institution.

Schools will have safeguarding policies, areas where you can work, agreements about online provisions and a huge say in what the tuition is aiming to achieve.

School as well as parents and guardians will shape the relationship you have with your student. Think of schools and clients as being the container the relationship can form within.

Other Professionals

There may be other professionals working with the child who have requested the tuition, such as social workers, charity organisations and childrens’ services. Each organisation will have their own requirement for tutoring which will shape and have an impact on the relationship you can make with each student.

Organisation

Let’s use the hairdresser analogy again. If a client is engaging a private hairdresser, they can employ a sole trader hairdresser; a self-employed person on their own who either has their own salon at home, little office, or who is mobile and goes place to place.

Some parents will prefer this, they will like that they are just dealing with one person and that they don’t have to invoke other people.

However, some clients will choose to go to a salon as they want a different experience. They like their hairdresser and like having the same hairdresser, but they also like the fact the hairdresser works inside a salon (an organisation). They like that they can phone up and book an appointment, there is a receptionist they can talk to when the hairdresser is busy. They like that if their hairdresser is unwell, they can have a choice of another hairdresser. They like that there is a salon owner who strives to think of other things outside the haircut process to make it a better experience for them. They also like the fact that the hairdressers have managers who can help them if they are stuck with haircuts and can teach them new skills.

This is what it is like when clients want private tuition outside of a school but they want it with an organisation so they can feel they can be part of something bigger.  These parents like that there are client managers, mentors, receptionists, and equipped rooms. They like the feeling that they belong to a service as collectively the organisation can offer far more than an individual can on their own.

Thus, as a tutor working in an organisation, you must ensure you have a relationship with the organisation and become part of the organisational ethos, rather than trying to work on your own.

To work properly, organisations need to have systems to ensure the channels of communication are predictable and efficient. Whilst a tutor should be free to decide on the lessons (considering the client’s request), and to decide on the approach, the tutor must work within the organisations policies and procedures and engage in a relationship with the organisation to ensure the client gets to feel they are part of the organisation.

This means the relationship you make with each student must take into account the relationship that the client is needing and the relationship with the organisation.

This may sound a tall ask or an almost impossible relationship task. The need for the complexity of this relationship is why organisations such as Westcountry SEN have client managers and mentors who work alongside tutors.

Client managers help strengthen the relationship between parents, guardians, schools, other professionals and tutors. Mentors help strengthen the relationship between the tutors and the organisation. Thus, with all the relationships strengthened and interlinked around the tutor, the tutor is able to build strong connections with the student and the best tutoring is possible.

This interconnected working does require honesty and a willingness to be vulnerable as we have spoken about in a previous lesson.  Vulnerability to not know everything (no one in any organisation can) and to be able to ask for help with needed.

Relationships in context require work to establish and openness to maintain, but everyone is better off if all the relationships have a connected aim of facilitating the best possible tuition for students and enabling them to have the greatest academic success.