What is disclosure?

In its simplest form, disclosure is when a child tells someone that abuse has taken place. This can sometimes take a long time as the child lets little pieces of information out, or it can be a rush of details that they feel able to let loose.

It is difficult to be completely prepared for this if it happens, but it is important for you, the child and the process which comes next that you know what to do if you receive a disclosure.

It is crucial to remember that your role as a tutor or teacher is to refer to abuse. It is NOT to investigate or start questioning the child. This is done by professionals in the police or social services.

‘Not investigating’ does not mean that you cannot ask any questions. However, you must not ask questions that could be seen as ‘leading’ the child. You need to ensure that your questions are open (we will look at what this means further down the page) and are only intended to clarify whether the child is in immediate danger of being harmed or at risk. Once you are clear about this, no further questions are needed.

If a child presents with an injury and makes it clear that they have been harmed or injured, or makes a clear sexual disclosure, don’t question the child further, unless you feel able to clarify who was involved in the abuse and when it happened. Try to listen actively (we’ll get on to how to do this later) and write down details as soon as you can.

Recording should happen as soon as possible. Unless you feel able to do so, don’t do this while the child is talking to you, as you need to give your attention to what they are saying (and how they are saying it). Writing notes while they are disclosing may well not be right or correct if you are to encourage trust. However, as soon as possible, write down what you have been told in as much detail as you can, including the child’s words if you remember them and any perceptions about their body language, actions.

If you are unsure about facts that you have been told, then always make it clear in your written notes that this is the case. You will not be criticised for this, but it does mean that those who are taking the incident further are aware that this is the case. Sometimes, impressions (as long as they are logged as such) are extremely valuable.

And always remember that if the disclosure results in you being concerned about the immediate or imminent safety of the child, then you must ring 999 and then alert your DSL

How to ask Questions

Open, non-leading questions

When you think that a child might be making a potential disclosure or is exhibiting behaviour or physical signs that cause you concern, you may need to ask questions. In order not to be seen to be leading the child, these must be open questions. These are questions that cannot be answered with ‘Yes’ or ‘No’.

Examples of open questions or statements:

You look like you have been crying and I’m worried about you. Is anything upsetting you? Can you tell me more about what happened?

Or

Could you tell me how you got that mark on your arm?

Conversely, closed questions are those that elicit a simple and often one-word answer

Examples of closed answer questions:

Did your brother hit you on the arm?

Or

Was that deliberate?

It is also better not to use a question starting with ‘Why?’ as this can sometimes suggest to the child that you think that the incident might be their fault

One good way of remembering how to steer a difficult conversation is to use TED: guiding the child or student to ‘Tell, Explain, Describe’

It is important to remember that questions should only be asked to help clarify whether the child is at risk of harm. Once clarification is achieved, no further questions should be asked. 

Third-party disclosure

You may already know that children use ‘friends’ as ways of explaining anxieties and fears to adults. Imagine how hard it must be for a child to disclose abuse of any kind. The disclosure may be made after a long period of wondering what to do and who to trust. Using an example like, ‘I have a friend who…’ is one way of seeing what happens when the words describing the problem are said aloud and also of testing the listener. If your initial response is to listen, then perhaps the child will feel able to explain that it is not a friend they are talking about, but themselves.

Sometimes with very young children, the story about the ‘friend’ may continue and professionals will work with this approach until it is right to adjust the focus onto the child. 

Be alert for this and listen and respond in the same way that you would if the child disclosed about themselves.

Follow up this concern with the DSL in the same way as you would if the child disclosed directly.

Children can also express disclosures through art or through writing. Stories written by children can often hold clues as to anxieties or concerns and while anyone who has taught English knows that children and teenagers will often produce disturbing or sad stories simply because of the emotional development stage they are going through, it is important to be aware that this can be a way of disclosing. 

The fundamental ‘MUST’ of any disclosure is that this information requires immediate sharing with the school’s Designated Safeguarding Lead. 

So, what can you do to ensure that the child feels safe if they disclose to you?

• Help them to feel safe

• Make sure that your attention is focused on the child. Don’t try to email or ring while they are talking to you.
• Children are often very intuitive and those who have suffered abuse in any form will have learned how to judge people and adults very quickly
• Try not to lean towards them, but also don’t lounge back in your chair.
• Don’t cross your arms – this can be seen as showing disbelief or passive-aggression
• Don’t become emotional, however hard this may be. This situation is about the child and they have chosen you as they perceive you as being safe and strong.
• Tell the child that you think that they are being very brave and that they are doing so well
• Allow the child to talk at the pace that they choose. There may well be lots of pauses as they try to find words, or judge the effect, or think through what they are saying. It is fine to leave these pauses, but you can quietly prompt if you feel that it is necessary: ‘Is there anything else that you want to tell me?’ or ‘Are you OK to carry on?’
• Likewise, try to keep your voice calm and unrushed.
• A technique used by professionals which you might find useful is reflecting back to the child what they have said, ‘I think that you have told me that ….is that right?’
• Don’t be scared of saying the wrong thing. You won’t. And the most important point to remember is that the child wants to tell you something.

It is important that you know it is NEVER RIGHT to promise confidentiality. Your professional duty is to pass this information onto the DSL/social service/police.

If the child asks you to keep what they have said quiet, you MUST explain that they have been so brave in telling you their narrative and that they are now going to be helped. It is sometimes a good idea to explain who you are going to tell – the DSL – so that the child is aware of the next step. But always be reassuring. 

The child may well feel that they have made things worse. Tell them that this is not the case and that they are going to be helped, but this cannot come from you. They may also now be feeling out of control of something that they have desperately been trying to control for a long time. Sharing information can be right, but it is also incredibly scary. Be prepared for the immediate response after disclosure to be one of fear, regret and sometimes denial.

In a nutshell:

You

Being the recipient of a disclosure can be emotionally distressing and challenging. If a disclosure has caused you to be upset, or if it has raised personal issues, it is very important that you also seek help. Westcountry SEN prides itself on the pastoral care of its staff and its students. Any of us are always on hand to listen and support you. There are also organisations and help to be found on the internet.

The important thing to remember is that you mustn’t try to manage any distress on your own.